i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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