I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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