Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
