he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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