Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
