Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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