i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
