Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I can't turn off my feet"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
