i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize