We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
