Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You made out with two different species that night
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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