I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
