oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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