he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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