the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
