Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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