the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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