The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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