Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
