Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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