She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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