he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Boobs are out for the taking
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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