so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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