We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
