Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
