I just made out with a guy for $7.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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