Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
