I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
