Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
