if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize