she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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