No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the condom got lost in my hair
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
