do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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