he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
