All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
