oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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