whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
