R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize