I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize