It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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