I forgot how hot balto sounded
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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