he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize