Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
