So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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