I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
