my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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