Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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