Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize