I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Small penises have feelings too.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
