we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
