I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
