i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
