who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
