Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
