Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So many bounce houses so little time
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
