I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize