it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
