Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
