3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize