wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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