Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
