apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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