put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
