Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize