"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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