in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
