I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
