I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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