dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
