So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
