Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
