dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
